Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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