wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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