This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
