about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
