you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
