Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
