theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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