Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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