I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
