why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
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I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
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She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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