Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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