Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
