Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize