he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My bed smells like the plague
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
