do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
