Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize