I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
