He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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