and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize