I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
As shirtless as possible
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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