so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So vagazzling was a success
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
