Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
