kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
