Sry I called you an 8
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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