We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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