Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
