I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
