Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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