Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize