belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
