I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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