Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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