I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize