ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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