I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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