I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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