I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
