He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
