hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
