I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
