I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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