Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
