those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
