chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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