I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
