:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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