In the future we'll all be gay
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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