I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize