I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
