I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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