guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
