we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
