is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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