I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
