Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
