Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
