The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize