im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
