Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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