I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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