Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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