Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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