Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
