I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
