oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
