three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
