Nicole vs. Life
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
