Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
