just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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